THIS INFORMATION COULD BE USEFUL TO YOUR PARTNER
If someone close to you is experiencing depression it is not easy at times, especially when there is a baby and maybe other children who need caring for. When they are finding life difficult it can often be hard to know what to say or do. They may need a lot of support and their behaviour can be out of character and worrying. Sometimes our worry and concern about someone means we fail to look after ourselves. Added to this, we know that when women are depressed following childbirth, their partners are much more likely to become depressed. So it is important to look after yourself. You may find it useful or helpful to talk someone. Ask friends or relatives for help and support. Remember your emotional well-being is important too.
There are a number of things you can do to help your wife/partner:
Listen let her know you are concerned and are available to listen without being judgemental. This can provide her with an opportunity to discuss her feelings.
Talk openly talking about depression may help her know you are open-minded about depression and make it easier for her to talk about her feelings.
Dont tell her to cheer up this may be our first reaction when a woman is feeling depressed. Particularly when they have given birth to a healthy baby. It can be hard to understand how someone can feel depressed at a time like this. However, cheering up may seem impossible to the woman and may appear as if you are not taking her feelings seriously.
Accept things as they are, reassure her you care and remain patient and understanding. Recognise that there will be good days and bad days. Eventually you will realise that the number of good days is beginning to outweigh the number of bad days.
Encourage her to seek help when women are depressed around the time of childbirth it is important that they receive the correct help and advice. Their health visitor or GP is often the first step to receiving help and they may refer them on to someone who is a specialist in dealing with mental health problems, such as a mental health nurse/worker or, where necessary, a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. Offering to go along with them when they have their appointment may be helpful to them.
Learn about depression having some idea how women feel may help you to understand their problems and the reasons for their behaviours and moods. For example, if your partner seems disinterested in sex, dont take this as rejection. It is common for women to lose interest in sex when they have postnatal depression, but the closeness of hugs and cuddles are really important.
Distraction helping someone forget their problems for a while might be beneficial. This may include supporting them with activities that they have neglected.
Practical help providing practical help with everyday tasks can really help take the pressure off her at this time. For example, helping with housework and shopping and making sure that she eats a healthy diet.
Time for yourself having time for yourself is important and can help you relax, whether it is simply time spent alone or doing something you enjoy. Looking after yourself will benefit your partner while you support her until she recovers.
Remember that with help and caring support she will recover and she will return to the person you remember.
If you are a partner supporting someone who is suffering from antenatal or postnatal depression and you would like further information and support, then visit:
