What is Anger?
Anger is a normal, usually healthy emotion. It is something that we all experience, but can cause problems in relationships and quality of life if it gets out of control. It can vary in extent from mild irritation to extreme rage.
Anger can be caused by:
• Outside influences, such as being ‘cut up’ by another driver.
• Inside feelings, such as troubling memories or difficult relationships.
• Excessive worrying or worry about current problems.
And can be worsened by:
• An unhealthy lifestyle.
• Excessive use of alcohol and/ or drugs
Anger needs to be expressed calmly, not aggressively. If it gets bottled up inside it can cause harm or boil over into rage. People who are persistently angry are 6 times more likely to suffer from heart disease.
Remember that losing your temper is never a good solution. It may provide temporary relief, but often leads to undesirable consequences which can make matters worse.
Signs of Anger
| Physical | Emotional |
|---|---|
|
Increased heart rate Rapid breathing Muscular tension Trembling Headache Raised blood pressure |
Reduced patience Agitation Feeling victimised Desire to have a drink or cigarette Wish to act first – think later |
Unhelpful Thinking
Thoughts can be unhelpful and can inflame the situation. Unhelpful thoughts in Anger are often called ‘hot thoughts’.
More balanced and helpful thoughts are known as ‘cool thoughts’.
“HOT THOUGHTS” are angry thoughts that flash into your mind and make a situation worse. People tend to think similar thoughts again and again, without considering alternative views. For example:
• He is so stupid
• You’re making a fool of me
• You’re selfish
• I hate this place
“COOL THOUGHTS” are more balanced thoughts that take into consideration other less damaging explanations. For example instead of the hot thoughts above, you could think:
• I may need to explain it to him better, perhaps he does not understand
• Maybe I did not prepare as well as I should have
• I need to say what I want to happen
• There are times when being here is ok
3 Steps to Managing Anger
Prepare Yourself
• Identify particular people or situations with whom you often experience anger
• Prepare what you want to say before difficult situations
Manage It
• Count to 10. Don’t rush into words or actions you may regret
• Use techniques such as deep breathing or relaxation
• Recognise your ‘hot thoughts’ and think of ‘cool’ alternatives
• Listen to the other person’s point of view
• Don’t jump to conclusions – stop and think before responding
Check your Lifestyle
• Eat healthily and regularly – low blood-sugar levels can make you agitated
• Take regular exercise, but avoid aggressive sports
• Make sure you have enough sleep
Other practical tips for managing anger are available in a self-help booklet that can be downloaded at the top of this page.
Additional sources of help
- BBC - Health
a useful site with information on anger and downloadable fact sheets and charts.
- NHS Direct
information and advice about all aspects of health
Suggested Further Reading
Managing Anger
By Gael Lindenfield. Thorson, 1993. ISBN 0007100345
Anger: How to live with it and without it
By Albert Ellis, Carol Publishing, 1990. ISBN 080652426X
Developing Assertiveness
By Anni Townsend, Routledge, 1991, ISBN 0415044642
Overcoming Irritability and Anger
By Will, Davies, Robinson, 2000, ISBN 1854875957
Overcoming Anger
By Windy Dryden, Sheldon Press, 1996, ISBN 0859697134
Primary Mental Health Service/Gloucestershire Health and Social Care Community. All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced in whole or in part without permission of the copyright owner. 2004.
